It's funny how life can get in the way of things and good friends can sometimes fall by the wayside. This age of myspace and facebook makes keeping in touch with friends easier, but what about those friends that don't use them or even have internet access? On Saturday I finally called one of my oldest and closest friends. I hadn't spoken to him since the fall and the wonderful thing about our friendship is that we are able to pick up from where we left off. Or maybe its sad since not much has changed. One of the bad things about working overnights is my friend works till 6 or 7 at night and does free lance jobs on the weekends. Considering my work schedule it's hard to connect. About once a week I would think about calling him, usually while on the way to work, but he deserves better than a quick call when I don't have time to talk (that is reserved for my ex). So we have plans to grab dinner and a movie next Sunday, I can't wait. Speaking of reconnecting, at the Grad chapter meeting last night it was great seeing Maria, she is such a sweetheart and due to her work schedule, she can't come around as much as she would like. Plus she is looking terrific, almost makes me want to switch teams...almost. lol. In other news, I'm sad that Tina can't make New Orleans next month, I was looking forward to seeing her.
I know I'm not the most mechanically inclined person, but I decided to go for a bike ride yesterday. I should say that I tried to go for a bike ride. I haven't rode (ridden??) my bike since I moved 4 years ago. I knew the tires were flat and I didn't think that would be a problem. My air compressor gave out after I got the rear tire inflated, so I took off the front tire, drove to a gas station and inflated it. Once I got home, I was getting excited. I put the tire on and was about to flip the bike upright when I heard a hissing sound. Needless to say the front tire is now flat. Today on my way to work, I'm going to buy a new inner tube. This should be interesting, I have never successfully replaced a tire tube, the last time I tried to patch a tire, I was a teenager and it was a mess. I hope things go better this time around. I don't want to feel like a total loser taking my tire into the bike shop and asking them to replace the tube, after all I am a guy, I should be able to do this.
Going through my email, I found this friendship email sent out my Matt, one of my closest friends. Considering he rarely forwards emails, it is kind of special and I think summarizes the type of friendship we have and they type of friendships I have with my closest friends.
Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap
Are you getting tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well . I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ---- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
' because you are my friend '.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
fridge magnets
The following quote is on a magnet hanging on my fridge.
I bought it in October at the Art Museum in Toledo.
Reading makes me think hard about how one should live.
The acutal quote is attributed to Mary Radmacher
live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.
how many of these lines do you do on a daily basis?
how many don't you do, but upon looking at them you wonder why you don't?
how many of us actually live as if this is all there is? I know I don't most days, but I think everyone would be better off it they did.
I bought it in October at the Art Museum in Toledo.
Reading makes me think hard about how one should live.
The acutal quote is attributed to Mary Radmacher
live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.
how many of these lines do you do on a daily basis?
how many don't you do, but upon looking at them you wonder why you don't?
how many of us actually live as if this is all there is? I know I don't most days, but I think everyone would be better off it they did.
many wandering thoughts and varied topics
Have you ever been in a funk or rut and can't seem to breakout no matter what you do? Lately my life seems to be on pause, it's almost like I'm going through the motions but not going anywhere. So most days I feel rather melancholy, and some days I am in such a good mood and tightly wound that I wonder why am I feeling good today? Maybe I shouldn't question the good days. One thing that has been weighing heavy on my mind is the where I am now. When I was younger and newly graduated and newly out, I never gave much thought to my future. It's now been over 9 years since I came out and I feel like I'm in exactly the same place I was then, if not worse off. I have 2 ex's behind me (that's a good thing, but as you get older it seems harder to find quality men. I mean, unless you are into going to the bars it's hard to meet quality guys, and I doubt I would meet a quality guy in a bar, so where does that leave you. To make matters worse, I have a serious lack of gaydar. Seriously, unless someone is flaming, I usually have no clue. My 33rd birthday is coming up soon and I think that is adding to my unhappiness. When taking stock of everything, there are days I wish I had a partner to raise kids with. As much as I'd love to adopt, It's not something I want to do as a sngle parent. I saw how hard it was on my mom and I just don't think I'm that strong. What if I don't meet someone for years? then what?? what if it becomes too late to raise a kid?? Then I think of the future. What if I never meet someone or have kids? Who will take care of me when I'm old?? I love my nephews but I don't think they would. You see all the time older people coming into your retail pharmacies, and wonder how they manage alone? And I wonder why I can't sleep some days.
I've decided to confront an "old" friend if our paths ever cross again. I have some questions that only he can answer, and I think that the answers he gives me will help me deal with the loss of his friendship and that I can move on from it. In the same token, I am afraid of what his answer will be. I swear that we will run into each other naturally, I'm not going to stalk his work or witness halls to get my answers.
As I mentioned earlier, my 33rd b-day is in a few months. This is weighing heavy on me for the reasons above and the fact that I will be about the same age (within a year or 2) that my parents were when they split. So this makes me wonder if I could be a good parent and If I do have kids in the future, how would they feel having parents older than everyone else?
Now back to my lack of gaydar. I firmly blame my family for that. One of my aunts had been married and widowed before I was born. By the time I was old enough to know her, she was partnered. So it was always Aunt Donna and Aunt Shirley. Needless to say I went years without ever questioning this, it was normal to me. If I'm lucky, some day I'll have a partner and my friends kids will think Uncle John and Uncle whomever is perfectly normal and not question it. But back to the story, her partner passed away when I was a teenager. One christmas day (I was 18 or 19 at the time) my sister Lynn made a comment about Aunt Donna being a lesbian. My mouth dropped, I had no freakin clue. Then again I had no clue about my sister, that was an even bigger shock. So I maintain, since my family is so accepting that my lack of gaydar is all their fault. Damm family for being so accepting.
It was interesting having dinner with my mom, grandma, sister and her kids the other day. It was probably the most my sister and I have ever talked about being gay, esp with our mom around and It made me happy to have such a accepting and loving family.
I've decided to confront an "old" friend if our paths ever cross again. I have some questions that only he can answer, and I think that the answers he gives me will help me deal with the loss of his friendship and that I can move on from it. In the same token, I am afraid of what his answer will be. I swear that we will run into each other naturally, I'm not going to stalk his work or witness halls to get my answers.
As I mentioned earlier, my 33rd b-day is in a few months. This is weighing heavy on me for the reasons above and the fact that I will be about the same age (within a year or 2) that my parents were when they split. So this makes me wonder if I could be a good parent and If I do have kids in the future, how would they feel having parents older than everyone else?
Now back to my lack of gaydar. I firmly blame my family for that. One of my aunts had been married and widowed before I was born. By the time I was old enough to know her, she was partnered. So it was always Aunt Donna and Aunt Shirley. Needless to say I went years without ever questioning this, it was normal to me. If I'm lucky, some day I'll have a partner and my friends kids will think Uncle John and Uncle whomever is perfectly normal and not question it. But back to the story, her partner passed away when I was a teenager. One christmas day (I was 18 or 19 at the time) my sister Lynn made a comment about Aunt Donna being a lesbian. My mouth dropped, I had no freakin clue. Then again I had no clue about my sister, that was an even bigger shock. So I maintain, since my family is so accepting that my lack of gaydar is all their fault. Damm family for being so accepting.
It was interesting having dinner with my mom, grandma, sister and her kids the other day. It was probably the most my sister and I have ever talked about being gay, esp with our mom around and It made me happy to have such a accepting and loving family.
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