365 days of fitness.

Wow, over 5 years since my last update.  I decided in reflection to restart my blog and chronicle my efforts at leading a healthier lifestyle and getting my body into better physical shape.  I'll also blog any other random thought that goes through my mind,  I know That's a scary thought!  Thanks for reading this far.

As of today, I have been 39 for 7 days.  This week has been one of reflection.  Most of my time has been spent obsessing about my weight and lack of love life, not a good combination.

First thing was accepting myself at my current weight.  That is not easy for me since I don't like how I look or how much I weigh.  But it's a starting point.  I am being mindful of why I eat.  I am trying not to eat my emotions which is harder at work than at home.  My coach at CrossFit is they type that eats to fuel himself and doesn't eat foods that don't get him to his goal.  I am the opposite.  I am an emotional eater.  Will I ever get to the point, where I eat for fuel alone, I don't think so.  But I am going to work on eating clean and healthy the majority of the time and when I splurge make sure it's done with thought.  I don't want to eat off my plan just because I am stressed or because it's Friday and the easy thing to do.  IT will need to be a conscious decision  and a more special occasion.

The second thing I decided is reflected in the title of this post.  I decided that I will do some sort of physical activity every day for my 39th year.  So far some days have just been push ups and sit ups.  It's a start but I am trying and I've been successful for 7 days so far.  Tomorrow morning I'm taking a few before pictures.  I won't post them yet, but look for them in the future with some pictures of my progress.

The third thing that my birthday brings to mind is the state of my love life.  In a few days it will be 3 years since I've dated anyone seriously.  Due to the timing of the break up shortly after my birthday, it always weighs on my mind this time of year.  While the break up was a good thing, being single for so long always makes me wonder what is wrong with me.  On the plus side I have a wonderful support system of family and friends but the nights are lonely.

Well I think that's enough for now, Dr Who comes on soon, and I have some burpees to do as well as some house cleaning.

reflections

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated this. It's something that is always on my mind, but I never sit down and actually do it. I had a productive few months since my last update. New Orleans was a total blast, and the days spent there couldn't have been spent with a better group of friends. I can't believe that in a few short weeks Jenny and I will be going to Key West. The seed of this trip was planted in New Orleans and is now coming to fruition. If you haven't been to New Orleans yet, it is a place that you need to go. Go to Lafitte's Blacksmith Bar on Bourbon street, it's not the home of the hurricane but their version is better.

This fall has brought some changes. I've attempted to start dating again. While it hasn't been extremely successful it has brought things into sharper focus. Sometimes you get in such a rut that you need to step back for a fresh perspective. Luckily going to Vegas for some CE brought that prospective. I knew attempting to date while working overnights would be hard, but it is much harder than I expected. So I decided I needed to re-evaluate my reasons for working the shift and decided that I am going to go back to day shift when a position opens. My original reason for working nights is no longer valid and hasn't been for about 18 months since the ex moved out, so why am I doing it. I just hope I can bite my tongue enough at work, since I tend to be outspoken and I don't need to get into trouble with my mouth. I am going to miss all my free time that i have at work to read when I go back to days. I can't count the number of books I've read. I have went through about 10 since the beginning of December alone. As for dating, in theory it will be a bit easier if I'm working days (at least I will have more evenings free) and if I meet someone that would be nice, but this past year has taught me that I can be happy being single and doing things by myself and with my great group of friends.

As for this year I have been making some positive changes in my life. My trip to Vegas had more impact than just some work insights. I weighed about 50 pounds more than I did the last time I went there and I could tell the difference. Needless to say I wasn't happy and decided to make some changes so I went back to weightwathers again. I have been going on and off (more off than on) for the past few years and I found my weight tracker. I had manged to go before Thanksgiving in 07 then again in January 08. Over those holidays I gained 15 pounds. Considering I gained about 15 pounds between May 08 and Dec 08, I made a promise to myself that this holiday season wouldn't be the same. Needless to say I managed to lose weight and am feeling better about myself. I think I should weight about the same when I go to Key West as I did in New Orleans and I intend to weigh less than that when I attend Province in March. I can't wait till spring comes, I'm going to do a complete closet cleaning and get rid of all the clothes that will be too large by then. The greatest part of losing weight is being able to fit into clothes that don't fit currently and getting rid of everything else.

I've been growing reflective the past few months. I think the general economic climate gives us all something to think about. I've been fortunate in my profession that I have a stable job and benefits. I've heard of so many of my cousins getting laid off and lay offs where my sisters work, that I'm glad I don't have that type of fear. I remember growing up with just my mom working that I was always worried what if... something happened to her or the plant that she worked at ?? I am so grateful for all the sacrifices she made to make sure I got an education and a chance at a better life. When my coworkers complain about work, I tell that I'm thankful that I have a job and that for the foreseeable future we will. Even if things change, I can always work retail. In this profession, right now my opinion is that we will have jobs. It may not be the job that we want but we will have one.

I'm also thankful for the friends I have. My trips this year were amazing. I enjoyed every long weekend I spent with my brothers. The alumni dinner dance at school was great for reconnecting with some people. I hadn't seen Roxy since graduation and seeing her again after 10 years was great. Seeing Mike was awesome since he decided to come out to Vegas with Matt and myself. I loved the trick Melissa pulled to get Eric (big daddy) to see us. I feel so bad for what he has went through and hope his little guy is ok. I hoped seeing us would bring a positive lasting change, but that was not to be and I'm happy to have had our last interaction be a positive one.

Hmm I guess that's enough of an update. Feel free to comment or email me....it's interesting knowing which friends read these things.. or stay anonymous and stalk me, that's fine too.

romantics

I had an interesting converstation with my tech at work the other night. Since one of the overnight technicans has been promoted, the rest of the technicians have been rotating through the shift. It was about 5 in the morning and we were talking. In the year I have been there, it was the first time that we really had a chance to talk and connect. She was already a tech that I enjoy working with and she would do anything for me. I was talking to her about my upcoming cruise and that I am looking forward to sitting alone on the balcony and watch a sunrise and a sunset over the horizon. I can just imagine how beautiful it will be over the horizon. She told me that I sound like a romatic. Considering she was the second person that I told this to, and the second person to callme a romantic it caused me to pause and think. She the continued and told me that she was one to, and to be careful becuase romantic types tend to get hurt. I continued to think about this for the next few days and she is right. I tend to fall easily for nice guys and it has always ended in hurt. Oh well, like I told her, I can't change who I am and I wouldn't want to change who I am. So we'll see, it's harding meeting guys right now working overnights, maybe that will change when I'm back on days. But I can tell you that I will continue to be me and I'm sure I'll fall hard again.